All the News That Fits

I don't make up the news about Trader Joe's. I just report it. I always knew that New York was a tough town.


CHEAP WINE: $4 AND UNDER

A roundtable investigation into Trader Joe’s wine cellar

Merlot, on the other hand, received little love. “Poop!” went the chorus. Moving on, we uncorked Il Valore’s Primitivo ($3.99), an Italian Zinfandel. The consensus? “Sucks. Sucks bad. Like it was fermented with dirt.”

The Chilean Collection merlot and merlot carmenere (both $3.99) received equally pitiful marks. “I feel like I’m drinking a dusty spider web,” said one panelist, who gagged after a taste.
We had high hopes for the Argentinean La Boca malbec ($3.99)—its bottle was colorful. But the judgment was “dirty, dirty, with spiciness like the cheap red pepper at a pizza place.”

It was horrible but hardly as evil as the Bull’s Blood, aka Hungary’s Egri Bikaver ($3.99). Dark red, with a peppery, wet-skunk finish, the Bull’s Blood “smells like the crabapple tree in grandma’s backyard,” one panelist offered. Others were less charitable. “Real bull’s blood is probably nicer. This is like bull’s blood boiled with piss and vinegar.”

Thanks to Bruce for the tip!